He keeps banging on the door and calling out her name, but she is not going to let him in. Not now, at any rate. “What do you want, Charlie?” she asks. She knows what he wants, but there’s no answer. He must have stepped away again. He keeps going away and then he comes back and pounds some more. “Let me in, Lana,” she keeps hearing him holler. She knew he’d come around. He always does.
She thinks, he thinks I’ve sliced my wrists again and he’s going to find me in a tubful of bloody water, but I won’t do that again. Not for him. He’s not worth it.
He’s a bastard and there’s no pleasing him. First he tells her she’s changed and when she tries to show him she hasn’t then he tells her he’s changed and they can’t be together any more. What the hell is she supposed to do? Pretend she doesn’t know all about the other one? That she’s the reason he’s the one who’s changed. That bitch. Oh, she knows everything about her, and she knows how long it’s been going on too. This is not a new thing, but she’s not going to argue about it any more.
She says in a soft, dry voice, as if he were in the room with her, “She pretends she doesn’t know it’s me when I call her. She just keeps asking, ‘Who is this? Who is this? Why don’t you leave me alone?’ And I’m not going to give her the satisfaction of answering. I know it drives her crazy that I won’t shout or get mad on the phone. That’s just what she’d like to happen. Me getting all excited like the last time because you’re spending nights over there. She should live so long.” Charlie always comes back to her. They have too much history together.
There he is now, banging again. He must have left his key over at her place. He told Lana he wasn’t coming back again, but she knew he would.
“Did she throw you out Charlie? Like I did yesterday? She hasn’t got the brass I have. You know I won’t put up with your shit for too long. Oh I know, I give you a hard time, but I’m not a phony like she is. You told me she cooks for you, but I think you just told me that to get a rise out of me. Like telling me she gives you gifts. A man is supposed to buy things for his wife, Charlie. Where did you go to school?
“Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. I don’t hear you, Charlie. I’m not getting up to let you in. You’ve got to cool down first. I’m afraid you’ll hit me this time. I was afraid of that yesterday too. That’s the only reason I threw the chair. It only grazed your forehead, you big jerk. Don’t you know how to defend yourself during a little domestic squabble?”
She changes the radio station from soft rock to classical. It’s much more soothing. Charlie’s gone away again. It’s quiet out there. Maybe he’s trying to trick her into going to make sure he’s not there and when she opens the door he’ll pop out from behind the wall in the hallway. Well, she won’t do it.
She’s not a simpleton. No siree. He thought he could keep his affair from her, but she found the bitch’s number in his wallet. And later, the airline tickets too. He thought he would take his little floozie on a trip, but she made short work of that. Tore those babies into little bits and left the pieces on top of the trash where he’d be able to see them.
The phone rings. She hesitates a moment or two, and it rings again. Should she answer it? It’s so far away and she’s so tired. To get up and walk to the phone, it feels like dragging lead. It’s the pills. They make you so dopey. The phone rings a third time and she waits for it to ring again before reaching for it. How can he be calling while he’s still outside the door? He doesn’t have one of those cell phone things does he? He’d better not be calling from a cell phone.
Reluctantly she picks up the receiver, and notices the carpet is wet. There is a trail of footprints behind her.
“Mrs. Adler, this is the super, will you please let the plumber in to check if the leak is coming from your apartment? He’s been knocking at your door for the last twenty minutes. I was about to come up and let him in with the key, only I thought I’d try you on the phone first. I was sure you were home. Are you all right?”
That catches her off-guard and it takes her a moment to come up with an answer. “Only a little mishap here with the tap in the bathroom. I’m taking care of it now,” she says without rationalizing.
“Well, if you’re sure you’ve got it under control, I won’t send him up again.”
Oh, Charlie will be back all right. He doesn’t give up that easily. Nice touch getting someone else to call to try to trick her into letting him in. She’s not going to fall for that one. But at least her excuse will buy her a little time. She walks slowly back to the bathroom trying not to stumble and lowers herself back into the warm soothing water, which is still dribbling over the edge of the tub, and she looks at the razor blade with the masking tape on one side of it. It’s now or never.
MDJB 